Writing a Tribute to Your Secret Self

And why this is one of the best parts of writing fiction.

📅 I have a couple of events coming up: an in-person Lilly’s Library event in NYC on June 16, a virtual pop culture fiction panel on June 18 and a virtual book club visit to Wine Down SF on June 26. Click the links for more details!

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Not too long ago, my YouTube algorithm shared with me this cover of Mercury Rev’s “Holes”—and I reacted as if I had experienced an electric shock. It reminded me that I had written Mercury Rev’s 1998 album, Deserter’s Songs, into my debut novel, Dava Shastri’s Last Day.

And I had this thought: Wow, how did I get away with that?

This might seem like an odd reaction, so let me explain.

Deserter’s Songs came out in when I was in college, and the music was so odd and transfixing that I kept listening to it to try to make sense of it. I think it took me about a year before I fell fully under its thrall, and once I did, loved it fiercely.

But here’s the thing: I never discussed this album with anyone. No one. It was just this kind of secret I had with myself, and would have remained so, if not for Dava.

When writing the novel, I needed to give Dava and her future husband Arvid an album that they would listen to while having an all-night conversation about their future. What music could live up to this transcendent time that would become one of the most important moments of her life?

I could have chosen anything—certainly an album that was more well known so readers could find it easier to connect with Dava.

But just as Dava did, I used to listen to Deserter’s Songs while gazing at the night sky, including during a visit to New Zealand. The marriage of this strange, beautiful music with those magnificent views deepened my love for the album even more.

And so instead of speaking about this experience with a single person, I gave it to Dava and let her share what the music means to me.

After Dava was published, not only did I hear from readers who became fans of the album—I heard from Mercury Rev. Back when Twitter was still something we liked using, I received this DM:

Dava came out four years ago, and as time passed and I moved onto other projects, this had pretty much slipped my mind. Which is why I’m now marveling that I included something so singular to myself in Dava, and that it gets shared each time someone reads its pages.

While what we want most is for books to connect with readers, it’s also fun to include Easter eggs that speaks only to you, or past versions of you. It’s quite something to think back on my younger self listening to “Holes” while looking out at the night sky, wondering what her future will be.

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Recs, recs and more recs

We’re still a democracy, and voting is on top of mind for me because NYC has a crucial mayoral primary vote coming up. But no matter where you live, there are crucial local races to turn out for throughout the year.

Visit Ballotpedia for a comprehensive election calendar organized by state. (Also New Yorkers, since we are doing ranked-choice voting for mayor, Don’t Rank Cuomo.)

Three non-profits where even $3 dollars can make a difference:

It can feel overwhelming to think about how best to provide support, especially when you want your donations to make a direct impact to help individuals. Here are three that are notable in a month celebrating Juneteenth and Pride Month, and during a time when communities are standing together to protect immigrants.

Juneteenth is on June 19, and thanks to

Deesha Philyaw

for bringing the Juneteenth Fund to my attention, whose goal is to “raise $20,000 to create comprehensive care packages, including cash aid, filled with essential items requested most by unhoused Black community members.” Donate here.

Trans Lives is a “grassroots hotline and microgrants 501(c)(3) non-profit organization offering direct emotional and financial support to trans people in crisis – for the trans community, by the trans community.” Donate here.

The Immigrants Action Network is a non-profit that “improves access to justice by creating and sharing legal resources with nonprofits, pro bono lawyers, and immigrants,” such as this nationwide database for immigrants seeking free or low-cost legal assistance. Donate here.

Reading recs:

I absolutely loved

Maurice Carlos Ruffin

’s essay, “What Writing Victory Feels Like,” which is about celebrating the small victories that writing can offer. Also, Sitting in Silence is one of the best newsletters about writing.

What Writing Victory Feels Like

Every week, I am so charmed by Time Travel Kitchen and how

Jolene Handy

writes about food and memories and related recipes for readers to try. In her most recent edition, she kindly recommended The Other Lata. This entry about living in and saying goodbye to NYC is what I think about often lately; it’s also just a gorgeous piece of writing.

Manhattan, When I Was Young

I’m a big fan of

Haili Blassingame

’s writing at Touch Her and Die! (this is a recent favorite) and appreciated that she generously offered advice on how to pitch three different NPR shows, including her own.

how to get your book on NPR

Over at Ministry of Pop Culture, we shared our successful freelance pitch letters and also gave our opinions about the best TV performance of the 2020s (which, as you’ll see from our honorable mentions list, there have been so, so many).

Who Has Given the Best TV Performance of the 2020s?

Thanks for reading this far, and I hope you have a good week ahead.